


Not a Day Goes By That I Don't Think of You

by NightCourt_HighLady



Category: Crescent City Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23555818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightCourt_HighLady/pseuds/NightCourt_HighLady
Summary: They should have Dropped together today. They should have dropped together and faced the aftermath together.Instead, Bryce is sitting alone by the river with 27 chocolate croissants, mourning the life she lost.
Relationships: Connor Holstrom/Bryce Quinlan, Hunt Athalar/Bryce Quinlan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 66





	Not a Day Goes By That I Don't Think of You

**Author's Note:**

> Songfic for Gone too Soon by Daughtry
> 
> You don't need to know the song, but it's very Bryce. I reccommend.

For the first time in a while, Bryce woke up feeling heavy. Even the dark, gently breathing presence next to her in the bed didn't help. She slipped out of the bed, grabbing leggings and a tee shirt on her way to the bathroom.

A few moments later, she snuck past the bed again into the kitchen, making a cup of coffee in a travel tumbler.

A couple of small items in the pockets of the hoodie she pulled from the hall closet, and she crept out of the front door. Pulling her hood up against the misty drizzle that she felt was very appropriate, Bryce headed towards the Black Dock, detouring at a pastry shop on her way.

_ Today could've been the day _

_ That you blow out your candles _

_ Make a wish as you close your eyes _

_ Today could've been the day _

_ Everybody was laughin' _

_ Instead I just sit here and cry _

Sitting on a bench by the river, she pulled a handful of candles out of her pocket and stuck them in several of the chocolate croissants she had in the bakery box. Lighting them, she sat the box down next to her.

This was it. Danika’s 27th birthday. The day that they had planned to make the Drop together. Her and Danika with Connor and Nathalie anchoring. Having done the Drop already, Bryce knew it would have been terrifying. But knowing Connor was there, and Danika was waiting for her, she could have done it easily. 

And then they would have grabbed Bryce’s firstlight keychains and Danika’s firstlight shot glasses and partied the night away.

But instead, it was Bryce here alone, having made the Drop two years earlier.

_ Who would you be? _

_ What would you look like _

_ When you looked at me for the very first time? _

_ Today could've been the next day of the rest of your life _

Their whole lives were set after today. Danika inheriting all that power, Bryce finally embracing the hundreds of years she was promised with her Fae ancestry. And even maybe embracing her starlight. 

Bryce knew Danika would have been different. The Drop changes you. As does the Ascent. She was so different than she was before she took the Drop herself. 

She was looking forward to meeting the new iteration of her friend. And she knew Danika was looking forward to the same.

Her whole life would have started in a different direction.

_ Not a day goes by that I don't think of you _

_ I'm always asking why this crazy world had to lose _

_ Such a ray of light we never knew _

_ Gone too soon, yeah _

But Danika was gone. Her and her pack were gone from the Aux. She was  _ good _ . So few people with any say in this city aren’t. Sabine certainly isn’t. Neither is the Autumn King. Micah wasn’t. The Viper Queen definitely isn’t.

Danika could have turned the city upside down, changed everything for the better. But she couldn’t now. She’s gone. 

And not just dead gone - completely gone. Sacrificed to save Bryce from her own folly in attempting the Drop alone. There’s nothing left of her there. 

_ Would you have been president? _

_ Or a painter, an author or sing like your mother _

_ One thing is evident _

_ Would've given all I had _

_ Would've loved ya like no other _

Bryce shouldn’t have had to Drop alone. Connor was supposed to be there for her. 

She loves Hunt, loves him fiercely. Is grateful for the path that led her to him.

But just for a moment… Just for a moment she thinks of Connor.

She thinks of what would have happened. 

She thinks of the boy who had been willing to wait. To wait and wait and wait until  _ she _ was ready for him to open his heart to her.

To the heart that she had held tucked into her own long before he knew it.

To the heart she  _ knew _ she’d betrayed in those last moments before his death, that she still regretted betraying in her fear. She hadn’t made promises, sure, but she still knew it was betrayal as much as the wolf shifters did.

She'd regret it until her dying day.

_ Who would you be? _

_ What would you look like? _

_ Would you have my smile and her eyes? _

_ Today could've been the next day of the rest of your life _

Bryce rubbed her running nose on the sleeve of her hoodie. Connor would have been it for her in that fantasy life, the one that was taken away. 

“Hope you approve, Connor,” she murmured, staring in vain across the foggy river for the shades that she’d seen almost 2 years ago now.

Danika did, at least she had that comfort. 

But Connor? She wondered sometimes, what he thought of the life she’d finally built for herself. Whether he knew that she’d have included him if she could. 

Reaching behind her hair, Bryce touched the top of the tattoo that was her final memory of her best friend.

At least they’d end up in the void together.

_ Not a day goes by that I don't think of you _

_ I'm always asking why this crazy world had to lose _

_ Such a ray of light we never knew _

_ Gone too soon, yeah _

Most days, it didn’t hurt like it once had. Most days it wasn’t so hard. Most days were a joy now, thanks to Juniper, Fury, Hunt, Rhun, and most importantly, herself. 

But today was a little bit different. 

Today was going to be hard.

And she was going to let it.

She continued staring across the water, tears streaming down her face, begging silently for a glimpse of the friends she missed so dearly.

_ Not a day goes by, oh _

_ I'm always asking why, oh _

_ Not a day goes by that I don't think of you _

_ I'm always asking why this crazy world had to lose _

_ Such a beautiful life we never knew _

She was staring so hard at the water that she didn’t hear the footsteps behind her until a familiar voice spoke to her so suddenly she jumped.

“You’re scaring the shit out of Athalar, Bryce,” Ithan Holstrom said behind her.

“I’ll apologize later,” she muttered, trying to get her brain back together. She may trust Ithan more than she did 3 years ago, but not enough to cry around him- or strangers for that matter.

“Why are you- oh,” Ithan stopped. “You still celebrate her birthday?”

“I’ve celebrated it every year,” Bryce replied. “But today she would have been 27. We were going to make the Drop together today.”

Ithan only nodded. He pulled his phone out, texted someone, and then sat down next to her.

They were silent for a few moments before Bryce spoke.

“I miss them all,” she murmured.

“I know,” Ithan replied. “I do too. This city is a worse place without them in it.” Bryce nodded. 

After another few moments, his phone went off again. 

“I’ve gotta go, Quinlan,” Ithan told her. “I was on patrol. But someone’s coming to take you home when you’re ready.”

Bryce nodded again.

Just that small interaction with Ithan had broken her resolution about tears. She tucked her knees into her chest and cried quietly, letting herself miss her friends.

_ Gone too soon _

_ You were gone too soon, yeah _

_ And not a day goes by _

_ That I don't think of you _

Rhun almost didn’t recognize his sister when he got to the dock. She looked so small, so young. Like she had at 13 when he first met her. His heart wrenched as he smelled her tears. Silently, he sat next to her and put an arm around her.

“Ruhn?” even her voice sounded young.

“Right here, Bryce,” he told her. “We don’t have to leave yet. Athalar and I just don’t want you to be alone today.” 

“Thanks,” she replied. For a moment, it looked like she was going to try to shove off the tears, but then she just let them flow, turning her face into his shoulder. He was Fae still, afraid to spook her. Their relationship was better, but Bryce didn't always open up easily. But Bryce stayed, and the storm of weeping passed the way of all storms and she turned back toward the river, wiping her eyes on her sweatshirt.

She pulled a bedraggled looking pastry box from the bench on her other side. It was overflowing with chocolate croissants, most of which had lit candles in them. Bryce closed her eyes for a moment before blowing out all of the candles in the pastries. She took a croissant from the bag and scarfed it down, eyes still closed as if she was enjoying the treat for her friend. After her second one, she opened her eyes and offered Rhun the box.

They sat together and worked their way through half the pastries before Bryce stopped them.

“Hunt will have a coronary if I don’t bring him some,” she smiled slightly. Shadows still wreathed her face, but she smiled. It was time to get her home to Athalar to complete the treatment.

“Then it’s time I walked you home,” Rhun told her.


End file.
